worldwide pablo

Enough of the week's seriosity*: Here's some Worldwide Pablo Fun, just in time for the weekend, too.

Exercise routine: Jane S. writes to Worldwide Pablo about an new exercise regime that "really works." Says Jane: "I've tried it. It's a good workout for people like us who are getting on in years and cannot get to the gym every day." Here's how it goes, in her own words:

1. I started outdoors, standing behind the house, with a 5-lb. potato sack in each hand. Bending the knees slightly, I extended the arms straight out at my sides, leaving them there as long as I could.

2. After a couple of weeks, I moved up to a 10-lb. sack, and then a 25-lb. sack.

3. Finally, I got to the stage where I could lift a 50-lb. sack in each hand, knees bent, and hold the position for a full minute or more.

4. Next, I started putting a couple of potatoes into the sacks, but I caution you, do not overdo it at this level.

Oh, yeah … thanks, Jane. Just in time for WWP's workout for the upcoming 30-year high-school reunion. Wonder if they'll be serving … french fries?

Where [hop] gods dare to tread: Recently, WWP and his co-workers had occasion to visit the Oregon Governor's Mansion in Salem. There's a story in that, but it's not one best revealed on an Internet site. Suffice to say (we're among friends, right?) that Oregon is a small state and that WWP and friends are just one or two degrees removed, professionally speaking, from Oregon's First Couple, Gov. Ted Kulongoski and his wife, Mary Oberst.


Did you know that Oregon is one of the last states to create a residence for its chief executive? According to a state website, the governor's mansion was built in 1924 for Thomas "Hop King" Livesley, the largest grower of hops in Oregon and vice president of Oregon Linen Mills. In 1988, the home was sold to the state to become the governor's mansion (a purchase that was financed through private donations, by the way). Governor Neil Goldschmidt and his family became the first official residents. Today Gov. Kulongoski and his wife live in the Livesley Mansion (now called Mahonia Hall). You can read more about it at the link above, or to see pictures from WWP's recent trip, click here.

Only in Oregon: Seen this week on Portland highways: A Checker automobile. Remember them? At one time in WWP's youth, taxicab fleets were exclusively made up of the chunky yet dependable Checker, hence the once-redundant phrase, "Checker cab." This week's sighting brought a small chuckle to WWP; its Oregon personalized plates: OFFDU-T.

And then only moments later what should whiz by but an Austin mini-motorcar, one of those groovy British bathtub-sized autos that found favor in the U.S. in the '50s and early '60s (and which has inspired the current worldwide craze for BMW's Mini-Cooper). The little Austin's personalized Oregon license plate?: O2B BIG.

Yeah, baby.

Fair and balanced: It's "fair and balanced" day on the Internet. Spread the word. Via Jack Bog's Blog.

*The footnote: Yes, WWP knows this not a word. Just checking to see if you did, too. Some don't, you know. Have a nice weekend.

Not to be content to let the matter be decided by Anglicans alone, Catholic bishops are now weighing in with their upset about the recent election of Gene Robinson as bishop of the New Hampshire diocese of the Episcopal Church (USA). The Catholic bishops complain the election interrupts centuries of Christian teaching and may irrevocably disrupt the relationship between the two faiths. Moreover, according to this Yahoo! article:

One of the Vatican's arguments "is that same-sex unions can't contribute to the procreation and survival of the human race, and are totally lacking in the 'conjugal dimension,' which includes the mutual assistance of the partners"…

The population argument almost goes without answering, a red herring meant to distract us from the fact that many marriages (and most second marriages) produce no offspring (and in an overpopulated world, that may not be such a bad or unholy thing, after all). But that second argument -- "totally lacking the 'conjugal dimension'" -- really raises WWP's eyebrows, and his ire.

What is the Vatican smoking?

No conjugal dimension? An absence of mutual assistance? Tell that to the lesbian couple in Worldwide Pablo's congregation who struggle on fixed means to raise two children, and who succeed admirably at doing so, yielding two daughters any family would be proud to claim. Or to the North Portland men who are valiantly fighting Florida officials to retain custody of the otherwise unwanted HIV-positive children they welcomed into their home (when no one else would) and made a part of their family. Or to any gay man caring for his HIV-positive partner, or worse, who has held a dying partner in his arms as AIDS claims another young life (as WWP himself has done).

Why does the Holy See resort to such falsehoods? Can it make its point only by demonizing, by reviling the "sinner, as well as the [so-called] sin." Or has the Vatican finally become so removed, so disconnected from the reality of our times that it no longer knows (or cares) how to minister to those whom Jesus would comfort? [And still does.] The compassion deriving from a "conjugal dimension" is not and never has been defined by sexual orientation. Shame on the Pharisees who would have us believe otherwise. It's hard enough for WWP's Protestant ears to hear these spiteful pronouncements from Rome. He can only imagine how they must sound to every-day Catholics, and how their hearts must ache upon hearing them.

WWP finds the following very difficult to believe, and even more difficult to state: With every passing day, the Vatican seems even more deaf to the gospel cry of compassion, more blind to visions of a realm "here on earth, as it is in heaven." Instead of offering the bread of life that Christ promised his followers, the church offers crumbs of narrow legalisms and proof-texts trumped up as canonical law. And, worse, by uttering words many find unworthy and beneath the dignity of those who claim the name of Christ, the Vatican dares to squander its historic and prophetic role in the "universal, apostolic and holy catholic church." If this latest message is truly where the Catholic Church's heart is, then the church will deserve the impending status of moral irrelevancy that is fast approaching for itself. And the church will have no one to blame but itself for that unhappy day.

It will be a whole new meaning for "Catholic guilt."

Has there ever been as summer like the one we are experiencing now? If Martians invaded today, they would conclude the whole Earth had gone queer. They might even take to calling us … "The Pink Planet."

To wit, the first-ever "all gay, all the time" night of television occurs tonight, thanks to three NBC programs, starting with the ever-fab "Will and Grace" at 9 o'clock and then a repeat of Bravo's "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" at 10 o'clock (check your local listings). It's all to be followed after local news by a visit of the "Fab Five" to the Tonight Show, where none other than Jay Leno will be getting a "queer makeover." You'll either love it or hate it. [Or perhaps you'll just shrug your shoulders.]

Even the Daily O got into the act in yesterday's Living section. One article featured "metrosexuals," those toned and tony gay-acting straight guys that are all the rage now, and another article focused on the summer of "gays and guys." [WWP would provide links to the Daily O, but its website is so miserably arranged he found it impossible to do. Perhaps fellow bloggers can relate.]

And then, of course, the conversation about gay marriage continues, debated and unabated. A couple schools of thought are emerging: One, that since heterosexuals have so badly screwed up the convention of marriage already, only gays can save it now and the debate is over. While social conservatives are poised to enshrine marriage for opposite-sex couples only, activists in this Los Angeles Times article wonder, "Can gays possible do any worse?" [Oregonians, take note of what once-familiar reptile shows up at the article's conclusion.] The other school of thought "comes out," as it were, in these thoughtful articles in the New York Times and the San Francisco Chronicle, which argue that America wants to treat gays equally, but that there truly is a social divide when it comes down to a single word: Marriage. Such debate raises a larger question, at least for Worldwide Pablo: Should churches be involved in civil events (the act of performing legally binding unions), and in turn, should governments be involved in religious acts (the religious rite of performing weddings). Has the time come to divide the two functions? WWP asks; you decide.

In other developments WWP finds queer:

Coming Homo: Gays are key to some urban renewal plans. Seriously!

And the cheerleader outfits, too: Maybe they're just jealous of the fabulous lockers and lavender chalkboards.

Take the test … no, not that test: Worldwide Pablo did. Here are his results:



Imagine that!

As Jack from "Will and Grace" would say: "Welcome to Gay Island. Population: You."

Cost of running the 2003 legislature (so far): $4.6 million (and counting).

Down payment on a Portland baseball stadium: $150 million.

Difference between Democrat and Republican legislators over education funding (K-12): $250 million.

Pricetag for North Macadam redevelopment: $1.9 billion.

Total discernible civic investment on NE 73rd Avenue in past 12 months: $0.

Value of civic involvement: Priceless.

Combined net value of Oregon Legislature and Portland City Council: A bucket of warm spit.

Some years ago, Worldwide Pablo found himself, somewhat implausibly, invited to a party in the city's "Trendy-Third" neighborhood. It was an event, he later concluded, that had been staffed by a casting director, probably for "Melrose Place" or some Fox reality program: not a soul under 40 (save for WWP), not a hair out of place, no fashion trend too dated (WWP had never seen so much black clothing outside of Manhattan) -- everyone appropriately cast from a profile narrower than Phyllis Schafly's intellect. During the soiree, WWP engaged in a conversation with someone who, it turned out, is a Portland city traffic planner. After stifling the urge to choke on the oxymoron, the conversation then turned to Portland's streets, during which the "traffic planner" opined: "The problem with Sandy [Boulevard] is that there are just too many cars. It's not pedestrian friendly." Hmmm, WWP thought to himself: That could probably be said of most state highways, and probably most arterials, both of which Sandy Boulevard is. But he let the moment pass and hasn't thought much of it since -- until reading today's Portland Tribune.

Turns out the Tonkin family is currently in a snit with the City of Portland over the future of the family's automobile dealerships on 122nd Avenue. The Tonkins, a fixture on the eastside for nearly 50 years [Update: Make that 40 years], want to modernize the service facilities, but the city has other plans. The Trib reports:

City planners say they don't want to run the auto dealerships out of town, but they do want to encourage a new type of development in east Portland, especially around the MAX line, which parallels East Burnside Street. Since light rail was built through the area in 1986, planners have been trying to squeeze more homes into the areas near the stations and make nearby business districts more pedestrian-friendly and urban.

Nothing wrong with that, WWP thinks. It's a pretty busy area -- should be room for everyone, right? Read on:

The car lot battles started heating up several years ago, when the Tonkins decided to tear down and rebuild the service garage at their Honda dealership, just south of the MAX station at 122nd Avenue and East Burnside Street.

That's when they found out that the city and Metro had dubbed the stretch of 122nd between Northeast Glisan and Southeast Stark streets a "pedestrian district" and a "station community."

The designations brought a slew of new regulations, including: Any development more than an acre in size must include housing, and no car repair facilities will be allowed, even though the area is dominated by auto dealerships.

City planner Ellen Ryker, who has worked on East Portland issues since 1994, says the rule changes at 122nd Avenue were not a mistake. "The idea was to make the area more walkable, more urban," she said. "This was done deliberately, to carry out the policies of the region and the city."

The Tonkins have hired their own planner, one who has worked in the private sector for 25 years. The planner makes an obvious point in the Trib's article: "These code changes were designed specifically to get rid of the car dealers and force the property to be redeveloped into something different."

Ignoring for the moment the city's haughty but historically predictable lack of due process in zoning away a business' lifeblood, let's address the trends and questions, all troubling, posed by this turn of events. First, why is it that businesses such as the Tonkin dealerships and the city's coveted housing hopes cannot occur side-by-side? Are they mutually exclusive? If so, why? In the city's vision of the future, can automobiles, density, bicycles, pedestrians and well-managed transit and traffic co-exist? Or must change come only at the expense of one of these? Which one? Why? At the most basic level, we should ask: Has the city's well-demonstrated hatred of all things automotive become so blinding it can no longer deal rationally with the topic? Or for that matter, with the automobile culture that Portland is not excepted from (but pretends it is)?

Second, if 122nd Avenue is not suitable for businesses like the Tonkin dealerships, what, if any, location in Portland is? What other forms of commerce are, or will soon become, socially unacceptable under the city's current planning regime? Have we adequately planned for a future tax base heavily dependent on a surfeit of dense housing but absent of commerce?

Third, in light of the evidence that Portlanders, like all Americans, are not to be separated any time soon from their automobiles (no matter how hard one might wish otherwise), what are the city's immediate, realistic plans for the inevitable increase in automobile traffic in the coming years? How many miles of traffic lanes does the city intend to remove in the next year? Five years? Ten years? How many arterials are being considered for pedestrian malls and downgrading? How do these plans specifically address the needs of the overwhelming number of Portlanders who vote with their cars?

WWP realizes this is not a politically popular view here in the People's Republic of Portland, where the automobile is held, at least by some city leaders, with the same regard as sarin gas. Of the city's leaders, only City Commissioner Randy Leonard has stepped up to the issue. He's the first city councilor in memory to hail from east of 39th Avenue, and he knows more than a thing or two about living on the city's eastside. Leonard pragmatically says 122nd Avenue should be viewed "for what it is" -- a busy, thriving and important thoroughfare. In his view, the real problem is that the bureaucracy at City Hall is "afflicted with a lack of understanding of the real world that we live in and have to work in."

Leonard has been a harsh critic of the bureau since his election last year. Here's hoping he doesn't let up. "It is going to be a real fight." Stay tuned.

One of the guilty pleasures of summer, especially August, is catching up on the seemingly ever-growing pile of books filed in the living room as "must read some day." Increasingly, the same can be said of Internet articles; Worldwide Pablo's folder of article weblinks of yet-unread Internet gems is fairly bursting at the seams. So, here at WWP Central we're clearing the decks of these interesting summer bon mots, all contributed by "people like you," admirers and followers of this humble site. Here's a sampling:

They're just wired that way: Are gay males more promiscuous than straight males? Or women? Are gay males less capable of monogamous relationships? Does any of this even matter? An interesting discussion on gay sex and gay marriage at is found at local blogger Alas, a Blog.

While we're on the subject: Frank Rich analyzes gay marriage and other queer topics in today's column. Here's a snippet:

...[T]here's only one hope for marriage in a country where the divorce rate remains sky-high, a third of children are born out of wedlock, and Kobe Bryant can be presented the 2003 Teen Choice Award as favorite male athlete two weeks after his public confession of adultery, if not rape: gays must come to the rescue. And you know what? They have. "Gays are the only people left who want to get married," Bill Maher says.

Read the entire piece here.

Shorts and more shorts: Reader Lin T. in Seattle mentions a interesting website, "run out of Denmark by the son of a [colleague], of all things." Spoiled Ink features a trove of essays and short stories. Steve Almond's short, "The Standard Male Equipment," is especially charming.

GWB must be jealous: Matthew M. sends along this oddity about Saddam's Magic Stone, which originally appeared in the Christian Science Monitor and was reprinted in the Daily O. Truly weird.

Da Bears: Blogger extraordinnaire Andrew Sullivan, now on summer hiatus, recently explored the world of bears. And WWP doesn't mean the National Geographic sort of ursines, but rather the two-legged kind one might find in a gay bar.

And he says he's not a candidate: Political junkies might enjoy dissecting the recent speech by Al Bore … er … Gore. Here's a snippet:

Americans have always believed that we the people have a right to know the truth and that the truth will set us free. The very idea of self-government depends upon honest and open debate as the preferred method for pursuing the truth -- and a shared respect for the Rule of Reason as the best way to establish the truth.

The Bush Administration routinely shows disrespect for that whole basic process, and I think it's partly because they feel as if they already know the truth and aren't very curious to learn about any facts that might contradict it. They and the members of groups that belong to their ideological coalition are true believers in each other's agendas.

Read the entire address at Move On.

Pretty interactive for an old fart: There's a pretty interesting interactive interview with New York Times curmudgeon William Safire, who's been writing op-ed columns for the Times on whatever strikes his fancy for 30 years. In the multimedia presentation, he talks freely about how he approaches his topics and some hard lessons learned.

And finally, the ultimate web log: How can WWP possibly top this? It's the"most complete blog ever!" Thanks to local blogger Pudding Time! for pointing it out.

Happy reading.

Thank God for our friends to the sunny south, California, where Golden Staters have finally provided Worldwide Pablo and friends with a distraction potent enough to avert eyes from the perpetual train wreck that is Oregon politics.

Adding to the distraction is Washington state, where there is not only a budget shortfall but one of the highest unemployment rates in the nation. The governor has announced he will not seek re-election. Boeing is leaving the Seattle area and is threatening to take thousands of jobs. Seattle politics are mired in arguments about monorails, traffic and racial politics.

And then there's Oregon, our blessed Eden at the End of the Trail. She may be experiencing the highest unemployment in the nation (to say nothing of a capitol filled with politicians disconnected from reality) and a solution-proof economy. And she may be the only state in the nation without a state budget (more than a month late now). But, oh Sweet Justice, these sores merely trifle in the glare of the national media spotlight in comparison, don't they?

Things are looking up. No fault of our own, mind you.