worldwide pablo

In the building where WWP works, a legal education seminar was held this week for lawyers (a not-so uncommon event) on a rather unusual topic: Using Oregon estate planning laws to provide continuing care and support for pets. Yep, pets – animals! Turns out this is a rapidly expanding area of law. Every day new rights for animals, and responsibilities for owners, are established or added to the books: trusts for pets, animal control regulations, animal abuse, and so on. WWP is happy that our furry and feathered friends can be so routinely included as heirs in estates, wills, trusts and lifetime care documents, but he wonders if it's possible that more attention is paid to the family-law rights of pets than some classes of people.

In fact, gays are forced to jump through hoops so weird and numerous to accomplish the same thing that the process can only be compared to one of the outer rings of hell. It's maddening in the extreme. Ever wonder why gays are so angry and so motivated on the subject of gay marriage? This is just one reason why.

Word is that Portland Mayor Vera Katz is on the brink of announcing whether she will run for a fourth term as commissar here in the People's Republic of Portland. Interestingly, sources say she is leaning against it. But with Katz one never knows what to expect. Worldwide Pablo wonders if the mayor, whose has occasionally demonstrated that her emotions are ruled more by vanity and pride than practicality, might actually throw her leopard-skin hat [scroll down] into the ring after all. Here's hoping not.

Also rumored: U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft is planning to pay a visit to River City on Friday morning. Credit Beerdrinker.org with that news scoop.

The coming gays: The Supreme Court case overruling sodomy laws is sure to influence law-making and litigation in the next several years, and not just in the marquee topics of gay marriage and the military's "don't ask, don't tell" rule. Employment, adoptions, foster care, custody, school groups, harassment – it's all in motion now that the high court has ruled that moral disapprobation is not grounds for government to treat gays differently. As one legal expert puts it in today's Law.com, the case "is going to affect every nook and cranny of gay rights law." Read it here.

Opening the panderer's box: A wry and funny account of Democratic presidential candidates vying for the gay vote, in today's Washington Post.

Inside the mind of Pat Robertson: CNN's Paula Zahn interviews the über-moralist.

Gays and religion: There's a plethora of online articles to be found today in the excellent blog at Christianity Today. [Thanks to Rob S.]

Mathematics class: Someone explain to WWP why this works. Fascinating, in any case. It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read.

1. First, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have dinner out. (Try for more than once but less than 10).
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold).
3. Add 5 (for Sunday?).
4. Multiply it by 50. (Go get the calculator).
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1753; if not, add 1752.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number. The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have eat out each week.) The next two numbers are... YOUR AGE! WWP is told that this year, 2003, is the only year this will works (sounds doubtful, but he just passes along what he hears), so spread it around while it lasts.

Okay, pupils, math class is now over… time for health education. [Thanks to Jane S.]

Health Ed 101: As WWP always suspected, some matters must be taken up with his own hands. [As Lin T. says: "It doesn't make you go blind, after all…"]

The White House finally is moving on concerns about the world's real nuclear rogue, North Korea. Why we rushed into war in Iraq with so much little (if any) evidence and failed to stand up to a demonstrated nuclear violator and probable WMD (weapons of mass destruction) producer is puzzling. Part of Worldwide Pablo's dismay over the ignored North Korean WMDs is that unlike Iraq's so-far phantom weapons, North Korea's weapons can actually reach U.S. soil -- essentially the entire west coast.

Oh, but wait, those would be blue states. Nevermind.

While he's on the subject, allow Worldwide Pablo to pontificate a little. First, which is worse? That the president used information in the State of the Union address that he knew to be false? Or that the U.S. national security apparatus is so weak it did not know the information was false? Or knowing the information was false, that it was still unable to prevent the bad information's use in the national address? None of this instills confidence in the security establishment, if you ask WWP.

Secondly, can any amount of soft-pedaling diminish the fact that the so-called "smoking gun," the highly touted "proof" of Iraqi WMD production bandied about earlier this year by Secretary of State Powell, was the tipping point for the American public's support of the Iraq war? The White House is desperately trying pooh-pooh the idea now, but even WWP's short-term memory tells him otherwise.

WWP thinks GWB should admit as much and just get the matter done with. The ongoing CYA gyrations only serve to convince the president's middle-of-the-road supporters that he is precisely the prevaricating politician his detractors say he is. WWP recalls the words of Richard Nixon, who long after Watergate described how a cover-up usually turns out worse than the original misdeed: "I brought myself down. I gave them a sword and they stuck it in and they twisted it with relish."

In the end, the WMDs probably won't really matter unless the U.S. fails to adequately rebuild Iraq. Succeed at that, the world will be safer and few will remember the WMD flap. But should we fail at creating a new Iraq, all bets will be off. As Thomas Friedman writes, we must keep our "eyes on the prize."

Finding WMDs: Maybe the White House is telling the truth, maybe it's not. One "expert" claims to see the light.

Talking gay: Seven of the nine Democratic candidates vying for president appeared at a forum on gay issues yesterday, and while they were generally supportive on gay issues, most were fairly tepid about it. (Really, how difficult is it to endorse the employment nondiscrimination legislation? Big whoop.) The major disappointment is that only three outright endorsed gay marriage, illustrating once again how homosexuality remains the third rail of American politics, even among Dems.

The support for gay marriage came, not too surprisingly, from the three candidates who probably have the least to lose: Carol Moseley Braun, Dennis Kucinich and the Rev. Al Sharpton. Asked if he supported gay marriage, Sharpton was unequivocal:

"That's like asking: Do I support black or white marriage? We must stop the separation of gays and lesbians from other Americans. If people respect you, it's not about gays and lesbians; it's about human beings having the right to marry who they choose."

No pussyfooting, no pandering, no circular reasoning. And no chance, probably, either.

Déjà vu all over again: Church dissension over homosexuality – it's not just for Anglicans any more!

Sick beyond belief: Dog killers are on the loose in Portland. Latest count: seven dead dogs. Sick, sick, sick. And nearby, a beloved statue is defaced by vandals. [Update: Another dog has since died, bringing the total canine deaths to eight. If you're of a mind to help with the reward fund, a benefit will be held Thursday, July 17 at the westside Lucky Lab. Click here for more information.]

E-mail of the day: "Sick of the media's puffery of Hillary Clinton and her new book in an obvious effort to help her presidential chances? Now … the perfect antidote to the liberal media's Hillary lovefest: the Deck of Hillary. That's right - the Deck of Hillary is a set of playing cards that will not only make you laugh out loud - it blows the lid off her lies and her new book - while helping to stop her presidential bid." Yes, one more deck of cards. WWP swears, this is it!

Busy day, Monday was, for America's super-patriot, the über-Rev. Pat Robertson. Seems that in the same TV program on which he prayed for three U.S. Supreme Court justices to retire, the televangelist also expressed support for Charles Taylor, the reviled president of Liberia. This of course would put Robertson at odds with, oh, about the entire world, including his buddy who calls the White House home. Turns out there is a possible motive behind Robertson's support: an $8 million investment in a Liberian gold mine. Robertson shrugs off this conflict of interest, and in an interview in the Washington Post, blasts Taylor's critics and the Liberian insurgents:

"They had no endgame; they have no plan of what to do; they only wanted to destroy the sitting president and his government," he added. "Liberia has been a predominantly a Christian country. And the United States State Department is paving the way for the Muslims to take over Liberia."

Robertson said yesterday that his investment in the Liberian gold mining company Freedom Gold was intended to help pay for humanitarian and evangelical efforts in the country. One event he helped fund was a three-day rally, called Liberia for Jesus, in February 2002. Taylor declared a national holiday and, according to news reports on Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network, prostrated himself on the stage, saying: "I am not your president. Jesus is!"

As for Robertson, ever wonder who his president is? WWP thinks it's probably George. George Washington - as in the kind you can fold.

The dirt on David: While the U.S. and the U.K. are buzzing over WMDs, homosexuality and Iraq's future, the European continent is fixated on the maintenance of a 500-year-old statue. Well, it's not just any statue: It's Michelangelo's "David," the Renaissance masterwork that turns 500 years old this year. After five centuries, it's time for the marbleized Bible hero to get a bath. But how to do it? Seems everyone has an opinion.

Sometimes, a pile of rocks is just a pile of rocks: In the course of human history and psychology, there have always been phallic symbols. Just think of all those obelisks … and then the pyramids … and then the skyscrapers -- all of them a pelvic taunt, a nod of sorts to the psychic fascination for … well … sex and size. So, now finally comes what cannot be described as anything else but, what, a vulvic symbol? Oh, goodness, what's next? The Grand Canyon? Carlsbad Caverns? The 1958 Edsel?

Where's Freud when you really need him?

Question of the day: Can someone please tell Worldwide Pablo why the flags atop the state office building near Lloyd Center are always at half mast? Well, really, it's more like two-thirds mast. No mention of that one in WWP's dog-eared Boy Scout manual. Maybe it's something new, something to honor, say, a near death. Maybe it's the Oregon state budget.

Oyez, oyez. Über-proselytizer Pat Robertson took to the airwaves yesterday to pray for the removal of three U.S. Supreme Court justices, inadvertently making the point better than Worldwide Pablo ever could do on why an independent judiciary and the separation of powers are such good ideas. The U.S. Constitution: WWP wonders if Robertson has ever read it.

Anglicans' quandary: The Anglican quandary mentioned yesterday can be understood also in events happening closer to home. In British Columbia, a bishop is in hot water over the blessing of gay unions. Canadians are debating whether he is a modern-day Martin Luther or a simple heretic. And then there's the ongoing Episcopal saga in New England, where the faithful are torn asunder by the candidacy of a gay man for bishop.

If all this talk about gays, sex and the church makes your head spin, you are not alone. The news comes at a pace that it makes Worldwide Pablo dizzy. (Well, dizzier, might be a more apt way to describe it.) Here's an suggestion: Every day, Christianity Today has a terrific roundup of the Anglican/Episcopal imbroglio and all of the day's other developments in the culture wars. Thanks to Rob S. for this and all the other links on the news from across the pond. [Update: Today, protesters disrupted the Church of England's semiannual parliament meeting, accusing the Archbishop of Canterbury of collusion with "Anglicans who preach a gospel of prejudice and discrimination." Read about it here.]

Don't ask, don't tell … don't predict? Given the events of late, Worldwide Pablo wonders if the U.S. military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" rule will remain standing for much longer. Already, one gay recruit is fighting the ill-reasoned Clinton-era appeasement, citing the recent Supreme Court ruling on sodomy.

Do ask, do tell. Michael Savage, very probably the dimmest of all political conservatives to hit the radio airwaves in WWP's lifetime (and what an embarrassment he must be to that tribe), has apologized for his recent seismically ill-considered "die, you pig" comments to a gay caller. But really, it is enough? Enough of this revisionism, says WWP. Remove the KXL button from your car radio, and tell KXL's managers as much. They'll get the message sooner or later that sheltering a thinly disguised on-air homophobe is not in their interests, and that there are many better conservative commentators to choose from. Contact our friends down at Paul-Allen-Central by clicking here. [Be sure to scroll down and click on "General Manager, Tim Mcnamara".]

A kinder, gentler Savage Nation: Of course, The Savage Nation has its supporters. Here's one argument in the homophobe's defense, from a Boy Scout, no less:

Michael Savage’s last day on MSNBC is a great learning experience for conservatives who need a few lessons about how not to market our message. Rage and visible anger are best left out of the conservative demeanor.

Conservatives should remain calm, cool, and collected when presenting our message about God, gays, guns, flag, family, freedom, and so on. After all, the Left is watching closely. If you haven’t noticed yet, the Left is taking full advantage of the opportunity to paint nasty labels on conservatives everywhere as a result of the Savage flap last weekend.

It would be nice to say that the Left has no reason to paint conservatives as Right wing bigots, homophobes, racists, and hate-mongers. Unfortunately, the communications strategy of two or three spokesmen like Michael Savage is occasionally becoming of the stereotype.

[snip]

That doesn’t mean we’re supposed to accommodate to the Log Cabin Republicans, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Human Rights Coalition, and Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. The effort to destroy the family is serious and well organized.

But we must fight back using the Boy Scout Law. Concepts like friendly, courteous, kind, and cheerful go well with bravery, duty, and honor. We must show that the Leftist worldview is incompatible with the preservation of a free society while doing what we can to make our communities and our nation a better and more civil place to live.

Gotta love those Boy Scouts.

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction Department: The correctionally challenged Trailblazers are expected to sign a new player tomorrow, and he's an Outlaw. No kidding, a true Outlaw. Should fit right in. [WWP can't make this stuff up fast enough.]

Keep an eye on the canary: Lindsay Thompson, colleague of WWP in the daily toil of legal editing, laments the lack of progress in the hiring of gays and lesbians at law firms in his new and interesting article at LawFirmInc.com.

Firms tend to define diversity in terms that allow them to make some women partners, and hire some ethnically diverse associates, then declare victory and wonder why we have to keep talking about this. Lost in the shuffle is the less easily discernable, but growing minority of lesbian and gay attorneys. They are the canary in the mineshaft when it comes to measuring talk about diversity against the action taken to make it real.

What's more, few lawyers feel comfortable describing themselves as "openly gay" (less than 1 percent in one national directory), and the higher you go in law firm management, the more invisible gays become.

Consider it the "lavender ceiling."

[P.S. You can read more of Lin's thoughts, about the recent Supreme Court ruling on sodomy, in this archived file from Seattle Gay News.]

Weapons of mass deception: Now finally, an explanation for that hilarious Google error message.

Another reason to get cable: Television has long featured jokes about gay men, first with straight men doing the teasing, and now with straight men playing gay men doing the one-liners. Seems every show has a gay character or subplot these days. Not to be left out, cable channel Bravo has introduced a new program featuring five gay men who do lifestyle makeovers … for straight men.

Yes, the love that once dare not speak its name now needs a press agent. Gay. It's everywhere. The New York Times chronicles this recent development.

If you think the recent tempest over gay marriage in the U.S. looks messy, consider the predicament of the Anglican Communion, the umbrella for the world's Anglican and Episcopal churches, including the mother church, the Church of England. In England, in fact, the politics seem more deeply intractable than ever: An openly gay priest is considered for bishop, but then is pressured out by social conservatives with the complicity of the new Archbishop of Canterbury, apparently equally eager to maintain the church's unity and the grip on his new charge. London's newspaper are rife with cricitism, and speculation is spilling out of pews and into the pubs (and elsewhere) whether the venerable "C of E" will be split asunder by the U.K. version of the sexuality culture wars.

The Anglican dilemma is the same one facing churches on the other side of the pond: Where is the power in the church? American denominations, like Anglicans, find themselves divided between two ideas. On one hand, there are the self-described progressives, who rely on modern (some would say, Western) understandings of science and social justice. Opposite them are the traditionalists, comprised of social conservatives and, increasingly, the churches in the fast-growing areas outside of the mother church's "homeland," that is to say, places like Africa, South America and Asia, where ideas about human sexuality tend to differ greatly from in the west.

This should be an object lesson for the United Methodist Church, Worldwide Pablo's chosen brand. The UMC, like the Anglican Communion, enjoys its greatest growth in the very parts of the world that do not embrace the western world's tolerance of and new understanding about human sexuality. Adherents in the church's homeland (the U.S.) increasingly find themselves outnumbered by followers from far-away places. An interesting irony is that in the case of United Methodists, the anti-gay view -- most vigorously voiced in the South – is most embraced by the new allies, yes, the African church. Think on that for a moment … It only took 300 years to put them on the same page.

Don't mistake Worldwide Pablo; he favors a racially inclusive church – but not one created on the altar of sexual exclusion. As one editorialist put it, "For once the voice of the developing world has been listened to, but, sadly, it is one of the few occasions when it should have been totally ignored."

Getting the last laugh? When it comes to membership in the Church of England and the numbers of gays in England, guess who's winning the numbers game? Yes, it's true: Homosexuality is now more popular in Britain than … Christianity. From The Guardian, here are the amazing numbers.