Poetry by John McGilvra

Poem for "Port of Call"

Analysis of why I think that I may not be a Genius
(or the thoughts that run through the mind of a near Genius)

Although I believe that I am a little smarter than the average person...
There is no way that it is possible that I am a Genius...or is there?
For example, lets consider the following... How come I am not rich?
How come I wasn't smart enough stay in a job long enough to have a pension?
How come my wife of 26 years left me?
Only a dummy would make those kind of mistakes, don't you think?
I mean, aren't those some of the basic things a person should make sure of?
On the other hand, I was accepted into Mensa in 1982. That's a club for the top 2%.
Now, doesn't that indicate that I am smart? At least smarter than 98% of the people.
Technically though, that only means I have an IQ of about 132 or so.
The dictionary defines Genius as a person having an IQ of at least 140.
Ok, some people may say, numbers, numbers, numbers, what's with all the numbers?
And now, I am told, that I qualify for Intertel & TOPS! That's it, now I know for sure somethings wrong!
Those are societies for the top 1%. How the hell did this happen? They must have made a mistake!
Should I tell them? No stop, let's think about this. Intertel, TOPS, hmmm... top 1%... that is special!
That's an IQ of about 137! Yikes! Now that is getting close! What is that rule?
Lets see... when it is .5 or higher, you round up. And .49, you round down.
So lets see... 137... You would round up! Yes! That makes it 140!
I AM A GENIUS! No! Now stop it, you idiot! Nobody rounds up whole numbers.
That rule is just for decimals.
Like gas, when it says 249.9, then a person would round it off to 2.50.
What a minute, I guess that is the way I use to think. Now, I round it off to 249.
No, that wrong too, it's 2.499 or is it 249.9? Now I am all mixed up. Now think, ok...
2.499, according to the rule, it would then be just 2, wouldn't it? And 2.500 would be 3!
Ok, if I apply that to IQ numbers, then, let's see.. 137... well hmmm... dog gone it, It's still only 137.
Oops, sorry fellow 2% people, you guys are only 132 or so.
I certainly don't mean to make you feel bad.
Just a second... gas... They show it as 249.9 don't they?
So then they would round it up to 250. Just where does the decimal go?
What a minute... I just realized something important...
The gas stations advertise the price as 249 9/10. They don't even use a decimal.
Let's see now, 9/10, thats a fraction. Is that the same as a decimal?
I guess it is, sort of, ok then, ummm... That would convert to .9, so that would be 249.9...
Ok good, back to where we were, whew! I was beginning to think I was losing it.
Oh forget it, I think I will take a nap.

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